The Imprint of Blue

Those who know me know my palette is always dirty, the mixing surface covered in stubborn stains of blue that clean water simply won’t wash away. I don’t clean it between trips, so the memory of the previous place remains, proof that the journey continues on even after it happens.

Working as a nurse in palliative care for 10 years, and now training as a death doula, means witnessing many heavy and low moments. Because of my job, I have learned the value of a moment. My sketchbooks give me the chance to document whatever moments I choose, and when I open them, I get to relive the best.

This summer in Québec, I found myself alone on a lookout over the Saguenay fjord, where the wind was blowing so hard that the clouds never stopped rearranging the light on the water.

I followed the wild race of the shadows, gliding like sailboats over the water and the hills, creating an imperceptible, continuous movement that would be easy to miss if you didn’t stop to see it.

Blue is the color through which I enter a landscape. For me, blue brings back memories from my childhood: a beach, the smell of salt in the air, the sound of the tide, and the immense and limitless sky. I look for it everywhere I go because it brings me back somewhere I already know, even in a landscape I am discovering for the first time.

I never settle for a simple photo taken in passing–I like to dive into the landscape, and while waiting for the color to dry on my paper, I take that time to dream and commit the moment to memory.

My sketchbooks are full of these time fragments, sometimes with a leaf or piece of moss tucked between two pages full of pigment and color. They are keepsakes, proof that something lived, page after page.

A friend once whispered to me that I should put more color into people’s everyday lives. It’s a promise I try to keep for him even though I don’t always know how. I think of it often, and I thought of it again while facing the fjord and its immensity.

A few days later, while studying the colors of the Saint Lawrence River, I saw a familiar face. Lily was a little girl I had met six months earlier at a different workshop. She came over, looked at my sketchbook lying open on the table, and without either of us needing to say a word, she picked up a brush and began painting.

She reminded me that filling a sketchbook means giving yourself, child or adult, the right to slow down and become, for just a moment, someone who creates without worrying how it turns out.

It is not about the result. The moment itself is precious, because it will not come again. So, when I close my palette in the evening, it’s blue never quite clean, I know that I am honoring this promise with my blue imprints.

My Folio Palettes

For Canada

Here’s the list of paints I brought to Canada, as seen in the Folio Palette pictured above, including paints by ShinHanart (SH), Holbein (H), Schmincke (S), Daniel Smith (DS), and a couple of handmade watercolors. This palette features three Large Mixing Pans.

Burnt Sienna (SH), Dark Burn Shadow (handmade), Bloodstone Genuine (DS), Naples Yellow (SH)*, Pink Tundra (S)*, Olive Green (SH), Tundra Green or Forest Grey (S), Horizon Blue (H), Istanbul (handmade), Lavender (SH), Ultramarine (S), Sodalite Genuine (DS).

*Brought, but didn’t use!

For the Pyrenees

Since returning from Canada to France, I’ve been working on an exhibition inspired by the colors of the Pyrenees, and my palette has changed quite a bit since then! Some of my new colors are handmade, using our beautiful local hues found in the mountains.

My updated Folio Palette includes paints by ShinHanart (SH), Holbein (H), Schmincke (S), Daniel Smith (DS), and handmade watercolors, listed in columns from top to bottom, left to right, and featuring two Large Mixing Pans.

Columns: Natural Ochre from the Pyrenees (handmade), Olive Green (SH), Tundra Green (S), Burnt Sienna (SH), Dark Burnt Umber (handmade), Bloodstone Genuine (DS).

Red Row: Purple Marble from the Pyrenees (handmade), Brick Red (handmade), Indian Red (S), Tundra Rose (S).

Columns: Lavender (SH), Horizon Blue (H), Ultramarine (S), Turquoise (SH), Genuine Sodalite (DS), Istanbul (handmade).

Thank you, Cerise, for sharing your reflections on painting in the moment, the nostalgia of color, and your travels with us. Follow along with Cerise and her creative journey on her website.